It was a week night and I was on my way home from work on a lovely sunny evening.  It was one of the nights where we take turns to get out on a bikeride, or to do something out on our own for exercise in the evening, but it donned on me that I'd much rather spend an evening with my family (together) outside.  So, instead of rushing to feed Linnea and rushing out the door to run around, I pitched the idea to Miguel to rush to Fred Meyer for a roasted chicken so we could spend the evening at Boulevard Park with Linnea & the dogs.  Miguel had no qualms with the idea, so that's what we did.  We took a blanket, some drinks, Lucy's frisbee and about 25 other things we probably didn't need, and ended up at one of our favorite places in Bellingham.  So what that Linnea went to bed an hour late.  So what that I didn't get to run.  There will be plenty of time for all of that.  We did get the memory - some great photos - and two very happy dogs out of it.  I'm sure Linnea will forget that we did that, but for me, it was important to see that with a little initiative, we can still do little things that put life into living. 

They said they could tell a difference in the development of their child each day.  I thought to myself "no way - such liars".  But now, I'm one of them.  Linnea is literally getting stronger and more mobile each and every day.  The crawling stage is close upon us and it will probably be a matter of a couple weeks before she's cruising all the way across the floor.  Yesterday she could scoot a few inches backwards by pushing off of the ground with her arms.  Today she scooted backwards to get away from something and moved a couple feet! 

Baby proofing our house is next on the weekend list of "to do's" along with lowering the crib mattress.  Things certainly have changed from the weekend plans of a Saturday morning bikeride followed by a day of yardwork or ultimate frisbee practice.  This week I totally chickened out of our Wednesday night run because of bad weather and the fact that Linnea wouldn't be able to join us.  Rain and wind are no fun for a 6 month old - although I seriously contemplated suiting her up in her pink snowsuit so she could come with us.  Somehow we got the entire crew to bag out on the run, which never happens.  That kid (along with the crap weather) sure has us wrapped around her finger.

I've been having the dreams that represent the fears of a mother.   Once I wasn't holding Linnea on a flatbed trailer and she fell off as we rounded a corner.  Another time I was in Fred Meyers and I turned my head away from the cart to get something and when I returned she was missing.  Last night I was watching a performance at my high school reunion and was juggling a grocery bag, Miguel's backpack and Linnea.  I got so engrossed in the show that the next time I looked down, Linnea was nowhere in sight.  I had left her in another section of the stadium by herself.  So, I don't know if these dreams will continue for the rest of my life, but now that I'm finally getting longer stretches of sleep, it is more stressful to be asleep and ironically, a huge relief to wake up! 

I don't think I ever officially made the annoucement that I'm only 3 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, but as of yesterday morning, I only weighed 138!  At the tippy top of the pregnancy I was 160 - and 150 after Linnea was born.  Thanks to our weekly runs, a few bikerides and 4 months of boot camp, I'm back in the game.  I can even do 10 pullups again, and I played in a women's Goaltimate tournament a couple weekends ago.  Yay for back to normal!

I've been a bit reflective recently and have to mention that I feel extremely fortunate to be in this life.  Even with the ups and downs, I love the time I spend with my family & pets, friends, and co-workers.  Looking back at my past 10 or 12 years ago, I could never have guessed that path it would take.  I own the dog of my ex roommate from 8 years ago.  I married that guy I met on a rock climbing trip 12 years ago.  I was pregnant and have a child of my own - what??  I'm the creative director of the web company of which I interned with 5 years ago (following a spontaneous lunch with Rusty).  I went to college for 5 years studying biology and gave up teaching science to become a web designer.  I don't know that it's material good enough for a novel - but I love it just the same.  Bring it on - what's next?   

Right now I'm sitting in our quiet living room with the sun cascading through the leaves of our spindly avacado plant and across Linnea's bouncy seat onto the floor.  Our house is now a menagerie of colorful do-dads with dangling monkeys, parrots and giraffes of a rainbow of hokey colors.  I've spent portions of the last two nights on the couch because I managed to come down with yet another cold.  Speaking of the cold - as a tangent - I am getting a little tired of this.  First I was pregnant - then I had the baby and couldn't do anything for 2 months.  Then I got sick right after Christmas with a hard hit to my lungs (colds must hone in on the weakest link of an asthmatic).   Just as I was finishing the nasty coughing stage, I managed to crack a rib or three on my first mountain bike ride.  That set me back into "injured" mode for another 6 weeks, and just as the ribs were healing, I came down with this other cold that has masacred my lungs again.  Even though it sounds pitiful, I've still managed to go to all but 4 days of Boot Camp throughout all of this, and I'm only 6 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  So there.  Thank you - year 2010 - for sparing me the searing pain of coughing whilst nursing cracked (or bruised, possibly) ribs, but seriously - a little bit of a break from injuries and illness would be appreciated.

Back to the main point here - in that we are well into the baby-fied house decorations.  I used to snarl when we had too many things shoved into corners, or if the throw pillows didn't match the walls, and now I'm living with not only a playland colors galore, but daily stumbling over Jaques the Peacock and Sophie the Giraffe, and picking up tiny stray socks that find their way all over the house. We have a jolly jumper in the main doorway to the kitchen and our dining room table is taken over by a dangling toy playland.  Needless to say, our lives and our home decorating feng shui have changed.

Linnea has passed her 5 month mark and apart from this cold she's fighting, she's developing into her own person.  One of the most evident traits she got from her dad and I is her determination to do things.  Many times - although it is unapparent to us what she is trying to do - she grunts and presses and shrieks and smacks her hands down as if she has challenged herself to do a task - like smack a toy up and down 10 times and then throw it on the ground.  We have one toy in particular that has a plastic triangle, square and circle that fit in a tree-shaped plastic thing, all of which are too big to fit in her mouth, and she gets downright pissed off when the entire tree doesn't fit in her mouth the way she wants it to.  We have to take that one away most of the time.  If we're a little slow on the draw in getting her food, she raises her shrieking frequency and decibals until the food reaches her lips.   If she doesn't want to be in the stroller anymore bouncing along the trial, you will know.

My favorite times with her are when she's just finished eating and she's content just to lay back in my arms.  Or the times when she wakes up in our bed and gives me a big smile when she opens her eyes.  Sometimes I wish I could play Pat-a-Cake with her for hours without getting tired of it - because she smiles so big when I clap and pat her little hands.  She's pretty much interested in everything we ever have in our hands and she reaches out her little hands with her fingers spread wide open as if that item - that beer bottle, coffee cup, bite of salad or dirty Kleenex is all she's ever wanted.  Luckily she's still easily distracted, so we just have to pick up something else to give to her - and she does it all over again.  

I think she's already starting to play us a bit - in that she knows we get excited when she smiles and that we will do almost anything to see her laugh.  I think she's got us wrapped around her litte finger and she holds back until she wants to give us the pleasure.  She anticipates a tickling session with great big eyes and a promising grin, but most of the time once you actually start tickling her, she doesn't give you that last 10% into a laugh - she just holds out, as if to say "Nah, try something else".   She is also starting to remember things from the past and I think she uses them against us.  If we've just squeegeed snot out of her nose, no laughs for at least 2 days.  She'll smile all over you until you bring out the evil eye of the camera - and then totally straight faced until the camera is put away.  We have a whopping 3 photos of this kid smiling - and a handful of her half smiling.  What a trickster.

In developmental news, Linnea is rolling from her back to her tummy.  She's eating oatmeal cereal, squash, yams, sweet potatoes and carrots.  Her stools are moving away from being benign breast milk messes to actual smelly unpleasant messes.  She's sleeping about the same at night - 4 to 5 hours at a stretch, but her daytime naps are really lacking.  On average, she's sleeping two 20 minute naps during the day.  My book on healthy baby sleep says she should be getting at least 4 HOURS during the day.  I'm investing in blackout curtains this weekend to see if that does the trick.  She's "cawing" and "uhhing" and she talks to the dogs a lot.  We think she weighs about 16lbs and she's got chubby legs and a plump tummy.  Her eyes are turning more brown every day.  Her favorite song is one that Miguel made up and she smiles every time he starts singing "There's a girl named Li-nnea - she likes to suck on her pac-i-fiah"...

We're very lucky - and loving every moment with her. 

First Day of Swimming from Heather Alvis on Vimeo.

Hiking with Fisher from Heather Alvis on Vimeo.

Today marks the last day of my first "Boot Camp".  I really enjoyed the class, and surprisingly the 5:30am start time wasn't much of an issue.  About 90% of the mornings I was already half awake nursing Linnea, so jumping into some workout clothes and heading to a boxing gym wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  I kind of liked coming home at 6:45, ready to see Linnea and start the day.  Every once in awhile she'd go to sleep for an hour after we ate breakfast, and I'd catch a little cat nap before work. 

I'm finding that the scheduling has become the biggest issue - time management.  I have an overarching feeling that I'm always rushing to do the next thing.  Rushing to work, rushing to get home to feed the kiddo, rushing to eat dinner and get ready for bed before the last feeding of the night.  The only time I'm not rushing is when I'm feeding Linnea.  

Now I'm starting on a night run with Bethany and whomever wants to join us.  This is going to be a trick.  Rush home, change my clothes, feed Linnea, and I'm out the door.  I want to start taking a boxing class or cross fit class, but all too soon I'm realizing that the only hours I'm spending with Linnea are on weekends and briefly in the morning.  Otherwise she's eating, fussing or sleeping.  Argh.  Miguel and I are trying to figure out a sustainabe schedule, but it's a big change not to be able to workout together anymore, and neither of us is getting the same amount of exercise as we used to.  

And to boot, I NEED the workouts.  I could use 2 running nights AND the kickboxing and cross fit.  Not to mention a mountain bike ride again someday.  I gained about 25 pounds during the pregnancy and I lost about 10 right after the birth.  Somehow with 6 weeks of boot camp behind me, a pretty typical "Heather" diet, and even some runs here and there, I'm still hainging onto the 15 lbs I had 3 months ago.  I'm giving myself 3 more months and that weight had better disappear so I can start wearing OTHER pants again.  

Luckily Linnea continues to be cute.  She's worth all this trouble, so I'm not to bothered by it.  She started pulling my hair 3 days ago.  This might sound like a negative, but it really is a sign of progression.  She's actively and regularly grabbing things now.  Toys, rings, papers, and her very cute stuffed and cuddly puppy dog.  She does manage to turn her beaming smile off when the cameras come out, but if you were to see her in person, your heart would melt with her giant grins.

I think I'll sign up for the next boot camp.  I'm up to 5 pullups and I need at least another 5 before I'll consider myself "back in shape" - I despise that phrase.  And frisbee!  Frisbee will once again be in my repoitoire.    We're also redesigning the gym website, so at least this next series of Boot Camp classes will be paid for, and I have no excuses.  Bring it on.

Oh, and I had to include this super cute photo of Mocha.  She keeps an eye out for the times when we forget to pick up Linnea's Boppy (moon-shaped pillow) off the couch - if it is unattended, she moves in.  Look how sweetly she has plugged herself right into the Mocha-sized hole in the center.  14 years old, still lookin' great, and always a little stinker.  Way to go Mocha!