This is going to be our first week without a dinner train.  For two whole months, our network of friends has sustained our dinner needs and many of our lunches.  Today marks the first weekday when we'll have to feed ourselves.

We've gone in with Andy and Katie on a "nanny share".  We interviewed several contestants and have chosen one lucky lady to watch our two little babies for a few hours each day.  It's a bit of a "letting go" feeling to shut the door behind me without a family member watching over Linnea.  It takes a lot of trust and will power, that first time especially.  Lucky for us the sitter we've had so far has been top notch and Linnea has been pretty good during the afternoons.  So far, no complaints on either side.  

Last week, I got my first real smile when I came home from work, like she was actually happy to see me.  It only happened once, but it was pretty special.

She's starting to make little cooing noises now after she finishes eating and she's in a good mood.  Sometimes we're not sure if it is an "on the verge of crying" noise, but if she smiles afterwards, it's really cute.  Sometimes she's not happy with our choice of comforting technique and we know it because she pulls out her Nazgul noises - those servants of Sauron in Lord of the Rings.  Our little Nazgul is the cutest of them all.  Her smiles are humongous, they light up the room and make you feel like you're doing the right thing, but they're also like Doritos - in that the more you get, the more you want.

Last night we had our first concern that she may have an ear infection.  She just didn't want to nurse on the left side and she screamed and screamed.  We tried bouncing and rocking and singing, and just couldn't figure it out, because she seemed hungry.  Then as a last ditch effort, I tried the right side.  She nursed contentedly for 20 minutes.  So then I went from being worried that she had a fever, an uncomfortable diaper, or hated my breastmilk - to worring that she didn't want to lay on her right side because of an ear infection.  It's probably neither, but what a pain in the butt to keep worrying like I'm walking a tightrope.  It feels like there is a thin happy go lucky path we can take, but fall to either side and all hell breaks loose.

I went shopping this weekend with Mom and Linnea.  Linnea probably broke her record for sleeping time - almost 5 hours!  She loves the hustle and bustle in the background.  They've got a ton of brightly colored outfits for sale these days.  I'm trying to stay away from anything pastel for this kid, so we found lots of cute little outfits.  We figured that she'd wake up when we put her back in the car, so we risked getting this photo with Santa.  Mom is a sucker for Santa photos, and obviously this is the real Santa.  Linnea was in true form with the rest of of her photos, as you can see.

I've fallen in love with the little curl of hair on top of her head that stands straight up about an inch.  Someday it will grow out, and it makes me realize how all the little things I notice about her are going to fade away.  I'm afraid that I'm going to forget them.  

She loves the wind.  When we go outside, she quiets down so she can hear the trees and the traffic.  She shuts her eyes.

I call her kiddo, babes, LE and LE-Meister and she laughs when I give her a friendly snarl.