When I'm riding my bike home from work, I can hardly go fast enough.  Even though I'm dodging traffic at the 5:00 hour, I can feel a smile coming on as I think about seeing Linnea again.  This must be the feeling of motherhood I've heard so much about.  This morning I think I experienced it again.  Nothing particularly interesting or different happened.  Miguel had left for work on his bike and we had waved goodbye in the yard.  We took the dogs to the park and walked around the circle a couple times.  We went down the slide and back and forth on the swings a few times.   We came inside and Linnea was sitting in her ExerSaucer tapping some things around.  The dogs were laying on the couch watching me walk around.  At that moment, I realized that I was happy - really happy.  I took a moment to think about it because it felt so nice.  Work is going well, we're healthy, we're having fun, and Linnea is making strides in her daily development. 

Sometimes I think about it and I'm actually stricken with sadness simply because everything is going so well.   So today I had a moment when I realized that noticing happiness is just as important as being happy.  Perhaps those moments are fleeting and they don't officially last very long - but I'm going to try to have more of them.

After researching for a client project the other day, I came across this video: www.theyearsareshort.com.  I'm not sure if this would have hit home a year ago as much as it does today - but it does tug on the heart strings a bit. 

This is it.  This is life.

My parents came to visit this past weekend.  Miguel and I had the pleasure of playing my dad in racquetball after an 8 year hiatus (the last time I played Dad I was in college).  We played for 2.5 hours and we loved every minute of it.  Dad & Margo got in as many photo sessions as they could in their 3 day visit.  Linnea was a good sport and she allowed us to get a few 'keepers'.  Every time we have family visits, we talk about how we wish we lived closer to each other.  I wonder where Linnea is going to be when we're 50 years old.  Is she going to move far away too?  I can see how that would be hard to deal with when college comes around.  Kids are so eager to get out of the house - and parents wouldn't mind holding on a bit longer.  

For now, I'm loving the nights when Linnea falls asleep in my arms and the mornings when she wakes up with a big chubby leg stretch in the bed.  Her squeal of delight when I say 1 - 2 - 3 - and tickle her little tummy.  And that happy feeling of anticipation when I'm riding home from work - that soon I'll be able to see my little girl again.

I have tons of cool gadgets with which I plan on capturing a very nice, cohesive history of Linnea's life, and the rest of mine.  I've always had a photo documentary of my life.  My parents kept album after ablum of photos from the day of my birth, and I looked through them often as I was growing up.  Once I got old enough, I got my own camera and started making gigantic scrapbooks full of photos, stickers, and other middle/high school paraphanelia that one might collect (keychains, movie stubs, friendship bracelets, etc.).  Thankfully we've moved into a new era of digitalous.  Everything has gotten smaller and supposidely "simpler".  I'm not so sure that is the case.

I have touted Flickr to friends and family and I've got about 2000 photos posted on my Flickr account.  I'm a big fan of being able to show my history to anyone who asks with a simple URL.  However, I can't help but feel that with all its advantages, the digital age has also taken something away - that simple ability to turn off the TV and plop down on the couch with a good old fashioned photo album.  I haven't made an album for about 8 years.  Everything is online.  I found a solution to that for our wedding, which was Mpix, a company that allows you to make a book and have it printed for a reasonable cost.  Awesome - there is my new ability to have something tangible, and I do go back and look at those books periodically.  The only problem is that it takes about 10 or 20 times longer to put together one of those books.  Time that is suddenly withering away with a newborn in hand. I'm working on a new book that is of Linnea's birth and first 5 days.  I have about 800 photos to choose from.  Ugh.

And with that said, I've also jumped into the realm of video.  Family video, that is.  I've got a Flip Video Camera now.  So far I've got about 35 different clips ov varying lenghts.  80% of them are of Linnea sleeping and doing absolutely nothing.  Hopefully I'll be more discretionary as time goes on, but at the moment, I've got a lot of footage to root through in order to make anything of any interest.  And in order to make a video by stitching together several little videos, I need even more time.  This is hard work.  Not to mention that I have a blog to keep up on top of all of that.  

Be ready for more stuff y'all, I'm jumping further into the technology quicksand.  There's bound to be some jewels in there, right?  

Linnea's Friends from Heather Alvis on Vimeo.

If you ever asked my parents, they'd tell you that they never quite know what to expect with me.  It seems I'm always trying to conjure up some sort of surprise and I dont just do things the way most people do them.  For example, the way we told them we were pregnant - through a webpage (of course).  Here's a link to that post.  So, as to not shake the boat, Miguel and I decided not to simply "tell" our parents the name we'd decided to give our new baby girl.  We had to make a game out of it, so we had an impromptu "naming party" with the grandparents.  Miguel's dad Julio even joined us on the telephone.

We announced that we were having a naming party that night with the works: cake and sparkling wine.  We asked everyone to put their suggestion for a first name in one bowl, and a middle name in a second bowl.  Then, we would pick names out of the bowls.  If we liked any of the suggestions better than our own, we would use them.  What seemed like a rather silly and benign game ended up being quite a hilarious affair.  Names came out of the woodwork like Sunnie, Bellebonne, Rose, Bella, Gertrude, Star and Chickadoodle (an entry from our chickens, apparently).  With Julio on the phone giving Miguel multiple suggestions - and even calling us on our second line to add others, we had quite a good time with all the combinations.  

In the end, Miguel and I decided to stick with our original decision, and our baby girl was "toasted in" with the new name of Linnea Evangeline.  Nickname: "Ellie" for her initials "L" "E".  I'd say that the reaction overall was not as grandeur as we were hoping for, but I think it takes a little time for names to sink in.  Now that a day has passed, and Linnea is sticking to her as a Pronoun replacing "Whose Its" and "It" and "Sweet Pea", I think it fits her perfectly.  Linnea stems from the name of a flower - the Linnaea Borealis (a small fluted white flower on a delicate creeping vine named after Carl Linnaeus).  Since I am named after a flower "Mountain Heather", I thought it would be fitting to have my daughter also named after a flower.  Evangeline comes from nothing other than the fact that Miguel and I both like it.  It also happens to mean "the bearer of good news".  We like the way it rolls off the tongue and creates a distinct separation before her last name.  

Grandpa and Miguel also celebrated with fine cigars in the backyard and fancy Argentine whiskey to seal the deal.  It was risky getting those cigars - originating from that small unnamed country starting with "C" - but apparently well worth the effort.

So there you have it - all you wanted to know and more.  Can't wait for all of you to meet Linnea.  She's wonderful and we look forward to loving her more and more every day.

I think the baby is growing exponentially at this point.  Grandparents and friends are waiting on the edge of their seats for the "phonecall" that things are going into action, but alas, I'm still here walking to work and waiting.  We've reached the 40-week "finish line", but it's kind of like rounding the last bend when all of a sudden, the ribbon, timekeeper, and cheering crowd all disappear - and I just have to keep on running - for who knows how long.   

I certainly attest that this feels like an alien in my belly, and moreso every day.  I can feel hard spots and soft spots, and s/he keeps squirming around.  With little warning, a sharp protrusion from my side appears and disappears as quickly.  I feel like I'm up to my ears in fullness, and can hardly find any interest in eating food.  I know I need to keep eating, so I'm trying to ignore the fact that I feel like I've just eaten at an all-you-can-eat buffet Chuck Wagon special.  To the dismay of my midwives and myself, I've somehow managed not to gain more than a pound over the last 2 months.  Overall, I've put on about 25 pounds, but all in the first 2 trimesters.  So, contrary to popular belief, my new instructions are to pack on the fat.  Cheesecake, whole milk yogurt, coconut milk, avacadoes, ice cream - you name it.  Sounds great, right?  I think I'd be more into it if I wasn't so full all the time.  How do I make room for the vegetables, protein and grains - AND all that fat?  It's a challenge many people would be envious of, but right now, it doesn't feel much like bliss and gult free gluttony- I feels more like a goose on a forcefeeding track to expensive pate.  I'm not sure that a few more days on lipids is going to do the trick, but I'm giving it a go.  Come on kid, let's get the show on the road eh?

Mom was up visiting this last weekend and we had a nice diversion from all the housecleaning and multiple pre-washes for the Bum Genius diapers I bought.  We went to the Dog Days of Summer with Mocha and Lucy.  We all took part in the fun walk around the lake, and Lucy even won a prize for dunknig a purple tennis ball out of a kiddie pool - old hat trick for her.  She's never liked the green tennis balls anyway, especially "new" ones.  Since she picked the alternative color, she won!  Mocha found a few bones in the dirt pile, and we saw lots of different kinds of dogs.  All the dogs seemed to enjoy smelling each other and hanging out.  I think they understood that they were part of a club that day.  Speaking of our dogs,  I get the feeling that they're picking up on being less "front and center" for our attention.  I've been sleeping more, and walking them less regularly (like 3 out of 5 days instead of 5 out of 5 days).  We're interested to see how they each react to the new family member.  Lucy could be a dedicated protector, or a pouting pile of jealousy.  Mocha - she's just going to be stoked for the food dropping to the floor for a change.

So, for any of you still wondering, no baby just yet.  Miguel is holding out for the 18th of September.  I thought it would be the 9th.  I'm still running the race and I'm just not sure how many more corners are ahead.  See you at the end.

I have to admit that it is kind of hard being the last one - and with this pregnancy thing, I'm coming in last.  Not that nobody else is having babies, but just that of all of our child-bearing friends in Bellingham, I'm the last one right now.  Who knows, there could be others hiding a secret until their first 3 months is up, but right now, I feel like I'm closing down the race.  Our friends Katie and Christina both had fabulous birthing stories to tell, and little healthy babies to hold while telling them.  Miguel and I are still in the completely unkown stage, with more than a 20 day window between due dates.  We both suspect that we've got 3 weeks to go before the big event, but only time will tell. In fact, we're entering into what may be our very last non-baby, non-booked weekend of our lives.  It's like we're on the log ride at Knott's Berry farm - it's dark, smells like excitement, but we can't really see what is around the next corner.  We're planning to go for a hike, relax, and bask in the quietness.  Perhaps the calm before the storm.  Man, that's intimidating!

In the meantime, we've almost completed the entire baby's room.  It was a long process of getting our attic partially finished, painting, demolishing a closet and rebuilding, but now that it is mostly behind us, we're happy with the results.   The room is fun to hang out in, and comfortable for lounging.  I'm feeling pretty good and just hoping with all fingers crossed that i don't come down with this sickness that seems to be targeting people in the office.  I only have a few weeks to hang in there - so hopefully I'll stay healthy.

My co-workers surprised me with a baby shower at work this week, and we played a few "shower" games.  My belly measured in at exactly 40" around - which Janae guessed with precision (she won some lotion).  I don't appear to be putting any more weight on, but the baby feels like s/he's getting bigger every day.  We're working on not calling the baby an "it", so in lieu of that, we're switching gender references from "he" to "she" every other day.  Today is a "he" day.  We have a few names picked out for each gender, but much to my mother's dismay, we probably won't pick a name for a few days after the birth.  Miguel and I are pretty excited for the big event, and it's been really fun watching Miguel with our friends' babies.  He's going to be a great father.  He's got the shushing and cooing and happy smiles down.  I'm going to need a little work, but I think I'll be ok.  The anticipation is rather challenging for me - in that there is an element of an unknown, and so I try to protect myself like many people do, by not getting really excited.  The baby's size is small, but what does that mean?  Will he be healthy?  Will he be normal?  Will the birth go ok?  Will I be ok?  There are many worries to go along with the final weeks of many people's pregnancies, I'm sure.  Being in the midst of it, I have to continually remind myself that positive thinking is the best thing I can do right now - and there isn't much else I can do about it anyway.  Good diet, lots of water and exercise and positive thoughts - that's what I'm working on.  

I've got a few animal paintings I've been working on, and I have 3 more to go - but these have been a good relaxing project for me.  Now, however, I'm finding it more and more difficult to bend over to paint - so it's a little slower going than I anticipated. So, we're off on our big weekend of nothingness - I'll tell you about it later.

When you're wondering where on earth to go camping next, Yellow Aster Butte is always a good choice.  We're getting down to the wire here on being able to get outside for some real life camping.  I'm 33 weeks into this pregnancy and I'm not getting smaller.  There will be plenty more days of the good outdoors in our future, but probably not for awhile - or the rest of this year, even.  It was time to get out of the house and Miguel offered to take the bulk of the  gear, so what the heck, let's do it! 

For a slideshow of our photos, click here (click on "show info" at the top right of the slideshow to view captions)

It took a bit of convincing to get Lucy and Mocha on board, but by Saturday afternoon, we were packed up and ready to hit the trails - regardless of the looming thunderstorms that were expected to hit the region.  We decided we "might as well" bring the tent fly - but gave the rainjackets a big "negatory".  It only rains on us when we decide NOT to bring our raingear.  You'd think we would learn.  Somehow we still live to tell about our adventures though, so no raingear means less weight and more adventure - right?

Yellow Aster didn't let us down this time - and it never has.  I had to "grin and bear it" on the 5 miles of bumpy gravel road that was knocking my belly all over the place, but other than that it was smooth sailing.  Not without some sweat and shooing away of about 100,000 bugs.  Having the extra 12 pounds of water and food in my little backpack actually made a significant dent in my walking speed - but Miguel is a patient man, and he didn't complain about having to go at a snail's pace up the hill.  Luckily we ran into a couple that offered us some of their bug repellent - as some of the descending hikers told us "This was the worst the bugs have ever been - good luck."

Luck was certainly in our favor this time.  We cruised throught the forest and the flies and came to the meadowlike opening for the last third of the hike when sprinkles of rain started falling.  It was quite refreshing, really, and although it is engrained in both of us not to get wet, we couldn't help but notice that the mosquitoes were all gone.  The dark sky behind us put Miguel in a bit of an uneasy mood, but we trekked on at our nailbiting pace and made it to camp.  Our clothes were just barely wet and it was cool enough to change into pants and long sleeves.  Lightning struck in the distance and thunder cracked and boomed in the distance as Miguel counted seconds between.  The storm was a fair distance from us, so it was an awesome show.

We found a perfect little pond that we had to ourselves and Lucy spent every waking moment either swimming or pushing a stick at our feet to throw in the water.  When the rain eased up, the bugs were horrible, so we were lucky that it kept sprinkling most of the evening.  We all went to bed way to early, about 7pm.  We were wet, but it didn't matter because it was still pretty warm outside.

The natural beauty of Yellow Aster Butte is immeasurable.  People travel great distances to see places like this - and we only had to drive about an hour.  I'll never get tired of visiting this beatuiful place.  

We woke in the morning and had leftovers for breakfast - took down the tent and vacated the area before the mosquitoes drew too much blood from us.  The baby did well overnight and didn't make me too uncomfortable or wake me up too many times.  We took an extra 30 minutest to make it to the top of Yellow Aster Butte with just enough of a breeze to keep the mosquitoes away.  

It was hot back at the car when we were done.  We still had time to fit in a few more tasks on the weekend.  Just in time to make the second chicken slaughtering, we drove by Adam and Lenore's place to gut a few chickens.  Then we headed over to Boxx Berry farms and gladly gave them $12 extra dollars for their blueberry picking efforts (we bought pre-picked berries this time).  And that was it.  Weekend marked "success".

We did have one mishap at home, however.  You may have thought the story was over.  The Chickens.  Argh.  I've already given Ginger away to Adam and Lenore.  She was a pain in the butt.  Now she's getting picked on over at their coop.  Then, they gave us 2 juvenile chickens - "the mean chickens of the group" - as a swap.  When Miguel looked in the coop before we went to bed, he noticed blood.  One of the new chickens' necks was pecked so badly by our "nice" big chickens, that we could see the neckbone.  It was a really sad sight to see.  What misery we'd put this little chicken through.  So, we ended our day by killing one last chicken - the most humane thing we could think of to do with her.  I'd say we sure haven't had much luck with chickens recently.  Lenore is coming to pick up the last little one tonight.  You'd think they'd be more civil to each other - but man, we learned the hard way that chickens aren't always as sweet as they seem, and better off not to force generations to integrate with each other.  

Truthfully, I just went to the store to "look" at the skirts.  I wasn't intending on dropping another chunk of cash on a 4th Marcia Bloom skirt.  However, that is exactly what happened.  Turns out y'all, that Marcia Bloom has not only created an awesome fashionable and fun skirt, but she's also created one of the best - if not the best - pregnancy skirts anywhere.  My excuse was simple: I only have a handful of outfits, especially pants and skirts that I can wear to work.  I don't want to invest in "Motherhood"-wear, and really, I've tried a lot of that on and I don't like it.  So it was merely a decision in practicality.

Marcia Bloom skirts are great for growing bellies.  The waistband is a wide strip of spandex fabric that is very loose fitting and still flattering.  The swinging nature of the skirt itself allows for plenty of airflow and freedom of movement - whether you're sitting behind a desk, mowing the lawn, or going for a long walk with the dogs.  You can seriously take this skirt anywhere.  As an added bonus, the patterns are so loud and varied that it is almost impossible to stain it - although you do have to be careful not to catch the Marcia Bloom - signature lace that borders the bottom of the skirt - on things like blackberry thorns, stray nails or scraps of wood.

To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if I bought yet another one of these skirts.  At this point, I'm fairly glad that I only get a select few of the skirts to choose from each time I go into the store.  If I ever get the chance to go to Marcia's real store, I might simply be blown away by the Paradox of Choice - having so many choices that I just can't decide on anything.  Bottom line here is that I have 4 of them so far.  I wear 3 of them regularly, and usually once or twice a week each.  Thank you Mom and Margo for helping me to get this many skirts.  One of these days, I'll have both of you wearing one too.  And thank-you Marcia Bloom, for not making me have to buy ugly clothes! 

There are about 8 households that have gone in on a meat chicken-raising expedition.  Sean and Adam are heading up the operation and they purchased the 50 chicks via mail in March or so.  We received the chicks in a box about 9 weeks ago, they lived at Jill and Phill and Murray's house for several weeks and then migrated to Adam's property where work parties had put up a chicken house and chicken run.  Last weekend was the first round of slaughtering.

John and Colleen were there, along with Adam, Sean, Lenore and Enid.  We all took part in something.  I was a little hesitant and waited around to see what it was all about before giving my hand at gutting a chicken, but in the end, I emptied out 2 of them.  The process wasn't as gory as I was thinking - thanks to a $15 set-up that gives you all you need to do your own home slaughter.  We had 4 metal inverted cones for holding the live chickens before we slit their throats, a big vat for heating water to 150 degrees, a plastic rotating tumbler with rubber fingers for de-feathering, and a stainless steel gutting table.  

I admit that I didn't take part in the slitting of the throats, but what I saw of it wasn't too horrific.  The poor birds are so heavy to start with (a breed we probably won't get again), that they hardly stand up and rarely walk around, even though they are "free range".  All they wanted to do was eat all day long.  So it wasn't much of a life for them anyway.  They didn't like being picked up and inverted into a metal cone, but once that part was over, the rest seemed to go pretty quickly.

We got through all 23 of the big guys/gals in just a few hours.  Bagged them up in ziplocs and packed them nice and tight in coolers.  We put 3 of the chickens straight on the grill - little did we know that it's common to let the meat "relax" for 2-3 days before actually eating it.  We were all surprised to note that the freshest chicken we'd ever eaten was pretty darn tough.  The meat wasn't that juicy melt in your mouth salty flavor we were salivating for.  Regardless, we had good salads and vegetables from people's gardens, as well as Lenore's famous 'burnt sugar cake' that she makes for Adam and Enid's Birthday every year (they're twins).  

So, our first slaughter was a success.  We have 3 chickens in our fridge "relaxing".  We'll probably do this a few more times at least, as we like the idea.  Sometimes we wonder if the $10 charge for a chicken at the coop isn't such a bad idea - now that we've experienced the real thing.  At this point, I think it will be up to Adam and Lenore.  They take the brunt of the work since the chickens live at their house.   

Our chickens are so annoying.  Today, Sunday, they're actually being very good and I'm just waiting for the morning cackle that just won't shut up.  Last week I was a bit stressed out and I just wanted some quiet time after work.  I sat down with a pen and paper to write, and just as I got comfortable, I hear a mind-numming screech from the yard - the typical "I just laid an egg sound".  It was about 6pm, usually late for the laying of an egg.  I popped my head outside to see which was the culprit, and it was Ginger - the yellow one.  Ginger - the least social of the bunch. 

Ginger isn't really even liked by the other 3 chickens. She's kind of like the kid in school that just does stuff to piss people off for attention - like stealing lunchboxes and hiding them in other people's backpacks.  For about a month, the other chickens banned Ginger to the inside of the chicken coop and wouldn't let her out in the run.  She must have done some chicken-stunt punishable by ostrisization.  Anyway, this time, it was Ginger.  So I showed her the water squirt bottle and she ran away.    Then I came back inside and grabbed my tea, pen and paper, got comfortable with the dogs on the couch, and wrote for about 1 minute...before hearing the "raaaaaaaachhhhhhhhh" again.  Oh, I could just ring her neck.  So then I went after her with the squirt bottle and she screamed like a little old woman, flapping her wings and running for cover under the bushes.  I went back inside, she yelled again, and we did this 2 more times before I decided to just sit outside and do my writing there. 

Got comfortable.  Wind in my hair, pleasant songbird noises all around, relaxing dogs at my feet, and everything was perfect.  Until Ginger props herself up on the very corner of the chicken run about 6 feet from me, turns to face in my direction and lets out the loudest "raaaaaaccckkkkkkkkk" - as if she were putting an exclamation point on it along with an "In your face, Heather".  That was it.  I'd had enough.  Forget the serenity of writing stuff down to ease tension.  I coerced all 4 of the chickens back inside their chicken run with birdseed - which always works - and shut them in.  Dogs and I went for a 2 hour 20 min walk down to Fairhaven and back.  Sometimes, I hate having those chickens.  Too bad we can't share with them the story of yesterday - the chicken slaughtering.  I suppose we could, but my guess is it wouldn't make a difference.

It doesn't take long after people find out that you're going to have a baby for experienced toddler-parents to start thinking of things they can get rid of.  So far we've scored many, many things that would have cost us quite a bit of money.  I just don't know if there is an end in sight, however.  We now have a baby swing, about 4 RubberMaid bins full of hand-me-down clothes (mostly in great condition), a bag full of colorful toys, a Baby Bjorn and an Ergo Baby Carrier.  All schools of thought are rushing in over the baby carrier situation, so it is nice to have options. 

We finished painting the baby's room when Mom was up visiting for a weekend.  That was about 2 days straight of work, but it was well worth it.  The colors are based off of a whimsical painting Miguel and I got in Argentina, and I think it is going to be a fun room to hang out in for all of us.  Lucy and Mocha already love sleeping on the blow-up bed in there, so they're right at home - even with all the strange baby smelling stuff.  We've ordered a Glider Chair and Crib that have matching wood colors (espresso brown).  The crib is an IKEA-style piece of furniture from a company called "Million Dollar Baby" that converts from a crib to a twin bed.  Who knows if it will hold up for that long, but the idea seems like a good one.  It's also the "mini" style, so it will fit in our little awkardly laid out room with no problem.  

Living in a 2 bedroom 1-bath house poses its problems, though, especially for guests.  All of a sudden we're going to have only a baby's room and guests will be sleeping in the living room with suitcases of clothes lying around everywhere.  That's going to be interesting.   We've searched and searched for a new house around here, but for some reason they are either not in the right location, not enough space, way too much money, or already pending.  We'd go for ugly with everything else, but can't find that, so we think we'll be here for another couple of years.  Plus, they are rennovating the park nearby and it is possible that thing in our neighborhood will become less sketchy as time goes on.  

For now, we're dragging our feet, but we're putting plans in place to make a built in closet for the baby room.  We're taking weekly baby classes called "The Bradley Method" - which we're not totally following, but is helping to teach us the stages of natural birth and give us techniques for getting through it.  I'm feeling kicking every day, usually after eating and if I'm hungry.  Miguel is doing a good job of catching the baby up on daily events whenever he has a chance to talk to my belly.   Dogs are fairly unsuspecting at this time - although Lucy seems a bit more clingy than normal.  Mocha is enjoying the slower paced Heather- walking rather than running on Tuesday nights.  And, apparently I need more Vitamin D - not enough sunshine for people up here in Bellingham!