I knew it was going to be hard.  I had no idea it was going to be that hard.  For a generally easy pregnancy, we ended it with about a hundred exclamation points and a 24-hour intense labor.  As I'm sure about any mother on earth would tell you, it was still worth it.  

I left work early on the 14th with a few crampy feelings that escalated through the night.  Mom got "the call" she'd been waiting for that afternoon and was already at our house by 5pm.  At 1:00am on the 15th, I woke up to my first intense contraction which was followed by several more every 20 minutes or so.   Dad and Margo got "the call" at about 3:30 in the morning and we continued laboring through the morning into the evening.  Contractions were all over the board 20 minutes - 15 minutes - 8 minutes - 20 minutes - 3 minutes - 8 minutes - 30 minutes - but most of them lasted about 90 seconds.   I thought I was well on my way by 3pm and we headed to the birth center for our first exam.  I thought packing up the car with crackers, juice, candles and music might be a bit on the optimistic side, but we were all hopefull that baby was coming soon. You can see with the photo above that I was still under the dreamy impression that pregnancy was a walk in the park.  With Dad and Margo en route, I hoped baby would wait long enough for them to get to the birth center, as it would be unfortunate for their 8 hour drive if they didn't get to see the baby being born - fortunately for them, but unfortunateley for me, we had a loooong ways to go.

After a few hours and lots of contractions, Miguel and I eased into the birthing tub and at some point I remember hearing my Dad's voice through the window.  They made it!  All my parents were there and photos were being popped off left and right as Miguel helped with my writhing and moaning in the tub (the first session).  I was so glad to have my family there, and even more glad that the end must only be 15-30 minutes away - as this was my thought:  "Oh good, they're here - just in time!"  Little did I know that things were just getting started - in time AND intensity.

I think it was near this point that I started feeling like this labor was moving from progressive to pure monotonous torture.  The contractions were unbearable, but I had no choice but to endure them.  Though I never voiced it, I had plenty of thoughts of going to the hospital for drugs.  Miguel pressing my back with tennis balls, cool wet rags and fingers to squeeze was all I had in my arsenal to combat the worst pain I've ever had.  My body convulsing on regular intervals with about 15 seconds of rest between 60 seconds of mounting pain - uuuupp and dowwwn.  For hours.  And hours.  I started losing logic and since I knew I had no way out, I tried to focus only on 2 things:  a low pitch noise I could make with my mouth, and a vision of a brown mountainscape that just went on and on and on with no end in sight.  At one point I asked everyone "Why are we doing this?" - wondering "to what end?"  I knew a baby was coming, but I felt like we were just doing this "exercise" as some form of way to pass the time.  Were we waiting for a visible shift?  A new urge to crop up in my system?  The clock to run down?  What in the hell were we waiting for?  I cried.  I gasped.  I moaned.  I squeezed my hands so hard.  I listened to Miguel and tried to imagine a baby in our arms.  At this point, however, I was sure I'd made a poor decision to put myself through this.  The problem was that the cervix wasn't entirely out of the way, so Kristin the midwife didn't want me to do any pushing, even though my body was trying to push.  I was told to moan in a low voice to prevent the "bearing down" of pushing - and this was so frustrating.  

We moved into the tub again and did some painful variations on my leg position.  Lunges for 6 contractions (lunges in the gym are no comparison), frog pose for 12 contractions, and lying on my left side for several more.  All were as uncomfortable as the last.  Finally Miguel suggested that we stand up for awhile, and even try a few on the toilet.  The pain is indescribable, so I won't try anymore.  There were 2 other women in the birth center that evening, both of whom came in after I did - and both of whom had a cheering squad and a crying baby well before I did.  This was a good example of adding "insult to injury".  But eventually, in my out-of-mind-state, Kristin told me with a smile that we were at a point where I could let my body do whatever it wanted and I didn't have to hold back.  That was a green light in my world of brown endless mountains and I set focus.  Two pushes on the toilet - sucked.  Then the water bath was ready and in we went.  Miguel slid in behind me and with each contraction, I screamed the deepest, loudest, most intense cry of pain as I squeezed the daylights out of his hands.  My parents all looked on in agony as I peeked at the room through my eyelids.  I could feel it though.  It burned.  It burned like fire, but it also meant progress.  So I pushed again.  I could feel that every time I released from pushing, the baby inched back inward and I really wanted this to be overwith, so I pushed 3 or 4 times in a row and finally, I heard "we have a head".  One more push and I swear I could feel her hips, knees and toes flow out of my belly like a large snake slithering through a stream.

Nobody could ever prepare us for the feeling.  The release of not having another contraction followed by a little purple blob of human being placed on my chest.  The baby was beautiful - slippery, but beautiful.  I'm not sure that I ever thought about what all this was for - I had no idea how that bony shaped alien in my belly would look on the outside, but it was a sight to behold as I'm sure any parent will tell you.  A little face with eyes peering out at us and real fingers and real feet and toes, and she just sat there staring at us.   Day had passed into night without me even knowing (since my eyes were closed most of the time).  It was 12:40am on September 16th.  I remember Miguel saying "Heather, look!  Its a baby!"  Miguel was in love.  I was still writhing and breathing in the pain of the aftermath, but after a few minutes I came to my senses a bit and said "Maybe I missed it, but is this a boy or a girl?"  The midwife said she was waiting for us to look.  So we uncovered the purple slippery body and fought through the attached umbilical cord and darkness to see a little tiny vagina.  "It's a Girl!" everyone shouted.  A beautiful baby girl - on the outside.

Miguel had the honors of cutting the umbilical cord, I pushed one final time to get the placenta out, and a few more minutes we were on the bed relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet of no more contractions.  The pain didn't go away, but mentally, I was out of jail finally, and I absolutely gave in to the moment of bliss.   Welcome to the outside little girl.  We love you and we are so glad you're here!

To see More of Our Pregnancy Photos, Click Here.   

Born: 12:40am Sept 16, 2009

Weight: 6lb 15oz  Length: 19"

Name: Coming Soon!!