We're inside after a nice hike at Lake Padden this morning as the rain comes tumbling down. The first hike in awhile where we should have brought gloves for Linnea. Since we didnt' we endured several minutes of ear-biting shrieks, but she eventually found a different focus with a granola bar and we made it back to the car.
We find ourselves in almost a new life this fall as we've moved to a new house, lost one of our dogs, are trying to figure out how to wrangle a 2-year old, and how in the world we're going to do any of this with another baby in 6 months. That's right, another one. We're due April 17th with Linnea's sibling. Just when I start feeling a glimpse of having some time to myself - but in the long term, this is the right decision, or so I tell myself.
Linnea has decided to be Christopher Robin for Halloween - quite possibly one of the worlds most boring and unrecognizable costumes, but that's what we're doing. Yellow shirt, blue shorts and black shoes. I did find a large Tigger doll that we'll strap to her back somehow. In all my efforts to coerce her into saying she'd be an alligator, peacock, squirrel, candy corn or zebra, she's sticking with Christopher Robin. Probably because he's the only human character in any of our movies - so he is the ONLY realistic choice in her mind - and she's the one thinking I'M NUTS for suggesting all these animals and inanimate objects.
Potty training is going well and she's pooping almost 100% in the toilet. She gets sidetracked, excited, or a temporary feeling of lack of attention - which cause her to still pee on the floor or in her pants from time to time, but overall, I think we're on a trend to full potty training; during the day at least. Nighttime is a different story, but if she has to wear a diaper for that for awhile, that's no big deal - since I had bedwetting issues for quite a few years.
I'm sitting at 3.5 months into this new pregnancy with few complaints so far. I'm still able to drag myself out of bed at 5am to do some kickboxing at 'Boot Camp'. I figure I'll keep doing it until it just doesn't feel safe anymore - and I'll pick it back up as soon as possible after the baby is born. I remember those mornings of nursing several times a night and then still getting in the car at 5:28 to get to the 5:30 class. It isn't pretty, but it was worth it, so I'll get through it again - right?
Kids certainly change one's perspectives in many ways. I look at free time as some look at gold. I consider forking out $2 for kitchy ugly plastic cups with sparkles in them. Injury is much more about inconvenience than it is about pain. The thought of death is scarier and I'm much more empathetic when I hear about people dying that have young kids. I want to sleep so badly at times when I can't - and when I finally can sleep, I think about all the things I should be doing instead. My living room has a miniature pink kitchen and trampoline in it. It takes minimal convincing for us to bring home an enormous teddy bear that takes up one of our few chairs. Grocery shopping is an 'event' for the day. Making dinner in less than 10 minutes is my number 1 goal after work. If I get 30 minutes of free time before bed instead of the normal 15, I feel a brief elation - like I've won something awesome. When I get to work, I sit down and think "Finally - time for a break". The achievement of 'having a good time' is now based on whether or not Linnea is having a good time.
Today we stopped for a hot chocolate after our cold walk in the forest. We went through the drive through and as we were leaving, Miguel said "Now Linnea, don't drink while I'm driving so you don't spill it on yourself." Her response was "Daddy, Stop driving!"
She brings a million times more smiles and laughter than tears and frustration - well maybe not a million, but a lot. So, we'll mulitply all this by two (in April) and in about 7 years we'll have some free time again. From what I hear from other parents, I'll look back on these days and say to myself "If only I could have a toddler again, if even for a day". I'm working at taking it all in and appreciating the moments, because I realize that life is fragile and impermanent - and today is what we have.
